26 July 2008

Ten Steps For A Successful Mad Tea Party

Inside the Leicester Square Theatre, in London, Alice in Wonderland premiered today in 1951. This premiere would happen a full two weeks before the feature’s release in the United States.

After seeing Anastasia and Drizella’s guide for Prince snagging, the Mad Hatter and March Hare decided they wanted to share a few tips as well. Presented below are the Ten Steps For A Successful Mad Tea Party, in case you were planning a mad tea party to celebrate Alice in Wonderland’s birthday today, or unbirthday tomorrow:

1. Always have plenty of clean teacups and empty chairs. When your cup is empty, simply move to the next chair.

2. Remember to be invited, or else it’s very rude (indeed!) to sit at the table.

3. Offer unbirthday cakes to anyone who compliments your singing. (And be sure to mind the explosives.)

4. If you haven’t had any tea, you can’t very well take less, but you can always take more.

5. When telling stories always start at the beginning. When you get to the end, stop.

6. If you don’t think you shouldn’t speak.

7. If you don’t care for tea, at least make polite conversation.

8. Never, ever speak of cats when dormice are present.

9. If anything starts to make sense, simply change the subject. Try asking a riddle.

10. If you don’t have time for a cup of tea, your watch is probably two days slow. The best way to fix it is with slabs of butter, two spoons, jam, and lemon. (But not mustard… that would be much to silly.)

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