In 1981, in Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life, Miss Piggy discussed in depth the best way to maintain a successful diet. Below is one of her many helpful ideas for dieting.
The Diet of Diets
This diet is in many ways my favorite. It is flexible, and it provides a wide variety of different dishes to choose from. Here is how it works. Get six or eight of the most interesting-looking diet books, pick the most appetizing recipes from each, and organize them into meals.
For example, one noted diet makes you eat an awful lot of grapefruit, a fruit I find about as appealing as a beach ball. And yet, that very same diet lets you eat chocolate cake and non-diet sodas.
Another popular weight-loss regime forbids desserts of any kind, but actually encourages you to eat your fill of French fries, ravioli, and quiche.
Now, either of these diets by itself would be impossibly vile, but careful selection of the best offerings from each gives you the following low-calorie feast:
Small Quiche Appetizer
Ravioli with French-Fried Potatoes
Chocolate Cake a la Mode
Very Large Cola Drink