These Are a Few of Your Faces

Once upon a time, in the early years of the Main Street Gazette, we would look for just about any reason to crossover with another Disney related site. Mostly this was because there were so many wonderful writers to collaborate with, but also because, in my mind, we should always be working towards building community. Time went on and sites came and went, sites had other work that needed to be done, and even we here at the Gazette reorganized our thoughts and beliefs. However, I have never wanted to wander away from that community feeling that we strived to find early on! So, when Estelle and Melissa, from This Happy Place Blog and Mouse on the Mind respectively, reminded me that they were relaunching Kill, Marry, Refurb for the summer, well, how could I refuse?!?!

For those of you not in the know, Kill, Marry, Refurb is based upon a game of a similar name, though the switch to ‘Refurb’ here is appropriate and, shall we say, more family friendly. The gist is that you have a given topic and you have to choose one item in the category to Kill, one to Marry, and one to Refurb. Sounds pretty simple right? For this edition, Estelle and Melissa decided to explore Epcot Pre-Shows. There’s a lot to work with, so let’s see what we came up with!

Kill – Ellen’s Energy Adventure

Could I have gone with a ride that doesn’t even have a pre-show, just a set of switchbacks in a queue with minimal to no theme? Sure, but as much as I love Ellen, Alex, and Bill, I simply cannot help but remember what used to be. The original pre-show, directed by Emil Radok, featured 100 individual screen that could change what facet was being viewed like a prism. It also had a catchy song with Energy (You Make the World Go ‘Round). Now, I’m not suggesting that the original pre-show be brought back, but something in that vein would be appreciated. The current show feels dated by a pair of decades and is more likely to prompt jeers and snickers than to inspire anyone to engage in the science of energy. 

Marry – Circle of Life: An Environmental Fable

Stick with me on this one for a minute. I’m not talking about the movie itself. That should probably be tossed in a burn bin and reshot from the ground up. No, I’m talking about the pre-show. You know, that area with carpeted walls and a few benches. Why on earth would I want to keep that around forever? The carpet walls! The green and golden walls show seed pods being blown on the wind and young plants taking root, and I have loved them  ever since I was a child! Apparently in the 1980s, we believed that in the future (i.e. now) carpeted walls would be everywhere. They certainly were everywhere at EPCOT Center. I can’t really explain my fascination with those walls, but if they were ever to go away, I would cry when they were removed and beg and plead with Disney to be given a section of the wall.

Refurb – Maelstrom

You are not the first to pass this way, nor shall you be the last to be bored. For all that Maelstrom is and could be there is very little in this queue to awe or stir curiosity about this country. Heck, even a couple of other murals with hidden trolls and a question at the beginning of the queue of ‘How many trolls can you find?’ would be better than what we have now. Norse gods in figurine or mask form could interact with guests in the same way the armors at Be Our Guest or the props of the Adventurers Club have in the past. The possibilities to inject life into the pre-show of this culture rich attraction are endless and wouldn’t require Walt Disney World to break the bank.

The real question is, what pre-shows would you Kill, Marry, or Refurb?